The Kings of Poverty Row, S1E4
TEASER:
FADE IN:
INT. ESTEEM PUBLICATIONS. JAKE AND HAROLD’S OFFICE. DAY.
HAROLD is alone, pacing nervously back and forth, puffing on a cigar. The radio is on and he’s paying attention to it like his life depended on it.
RADIO [electronic]
... And with a bone-dry track here today at Aqueduct, the last lengths of the six race are going to be a neck-to-neck battle between two unlikely contenders, Leather Jacket...
HAROLD turns to stare at the radio in anxious anticipation.
HAROLD [breathless]
C’mon, High Esteem!
RADIO [electronic]
... And Shiela’s Rose of Sharon, followed closely by...
HAROLD’S face falls, like he’s just learned his dog died.
RADIO [electronic]
... This Means War... Castle Credit... Sunday Soul... Night Winner... annnnd...
HAROLD
High Esteem!
RADIO [electronic]
... High Esteem! It’s Leather Jacket by a nose coming into the turn... now Rose of Sharon tries to take the inside position and... wait! It’s High Esteem, making her move now from the back of the pack...
HAROLD [surprised]
High Esteem?
RADIO [electronic]
... Passing Night Winner with a sudden burst of speed... pulling abreast of Sunday Soul, ladies and gentlemen, it’s as though this horse has suddenly come awake and is running the race of her lifetime...
HAROLD [excited]
High Esteem!
RADIO [electronic]
... Taking on Castle Credit for the fourth position even as Rose of Sharon and This Means War trade for the lead by a whisker’s length... and, look at that, ladies and gentlemen, High Esteem has pulled ahead of Castle Credit, making the lunge for an improbable show in this suddenly epic race...
HAROLD [screams]
High Esteem!
RADIO [electronic]
... And oh... he’s down!
HAROLD [horrified]
High... High Esteem--?
RADIO [electronic]
High Esteem is down! Castle Credit stumbles... but she stays on her feet... and at the wire... it’s This Means War, by a nose! The stewards are headed to check on the downed horse and rider...
HAROLD, stunned, reaches over and shuts off the radio.
HAROLD [hoarse whisper]
High Esteem...
The office door opens, and JAKE ENTERS, a folded newspaper under his arm.
JAKE
What were you listening to? You look white as a sheet.
HAROLD
It was... was H.V. Kaltenborn was talking about something Roosevelt said.
JAKE
What did Roosevelt say?
HAROLD
Who the hell listens to what he says? Where you been?
JAKE
The can. You mind?
HAROLD doesn’t answer. He’s clearly upset and trying not to show it. He goes behind his desk and sits, shuffling the papers on it without looking at what he’s doing. JAKE is watching him with a grin.
JAKE
You were listening to the races, weren’t you? What was it? That horse you wanted $200 for yesterday? What’s its name, Harry the Horse? How bad did it place?
HAROLD
High Esteem. Owned by J.K. Harry, alright?
JAKE
Fine. You lost that fin I gave you, didn’t you? Aren’t you glad now I didn’t let you have the whole two hundred?
HAROLD
So? We got work to do or you want to spend some more time rubbing it in?
JAKE [hands up in surrender]
You’re asking to work? This may turn out to be the best five bucks I ever threw away!
ON HAROLD, smiling uncomfortably as a bead of sweat rolls slowly down his forehead.
HAROLD
Count our blessings, huh?
CUT TO:
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. EMPIRE PUBLICATIONS COFFEE ROOM. DAY.
Calling it a coffee room is generous. It’s a windowless storage room with a utility sink, a hot plate and a small table shoved into it among the supplies. LILLIAN is finishing rinsing out the coffee pot and then starts to make another pot.
LILLIAN [to herself]
God forbid somebody else should rinse out a coffee pot or make fresh. Why should they? Lillian will make the coffee. Lillian will clean up the mess. Lillian will order the typewriter ribbons. Let Lillian do it.
JAKE [off-stage]
Right this way, Mr. Hooperman. I think there’s some coffee on. Let’s sit down and have a cup while we talk.
HOOPERMAN [off-stage]
I know the way, Jacob. If you’ll recall, these were my offices before they were yours.
JAKE [off-stage]
Well, I still wish you’d let us know you were coming in today, so Harold could’ve been here too. And we could’ve met someplace nicer, like maybe Chock Full of Nuts, where the coffee’s better.
HOOPERMAN [off-stage]
Whatever you’ve got that’s hot and in a mug will suit me, lad. I’ve had to make do with little better than warmed over mud in my time.
HOOPERMAN, followed by JAKE, comes marching into the room.
HOOPERMAN
I remember a fortnight on the Western front in the Big One during which all we had to drink was our own filtered ur...oh...
HOOPERMAN stops, startled as he spots LILLIAN, plugging in the percolator.
....Oh...that is, you’re in here, ma’am! Ahem!
LILLIAN
Don’t worry about it, Mr. Hooperman. I haven’t peed in the coffee since the last time Jake wouldn’t give me a raise.
JAKE
Lillian!
LILLIAN [finishing up, turns to leave]
I’m kidding, Jake.
(Stops at the door)
I pee in the coffee all the time.
LILLIAN exits.
HOOPERMAN
Ahem! Interesting woman.
JAKE
Yeah. We found her working on a tugboat, I think.
HOOPERMAN
No doubt.
JAKE
So, to what do we owe this pleasure, Mr. Hooperman...?
HOOPERMAN
I’m afraid it’s more business than pleasure, Jacob.
JAKE
Sit, Mr. Hooperman, sit.
HOOPERMAN takes a seat at the table while JAKE fusses with the coffee pot on the hotplate.
JAKE
Tell me what’s on your mind.
HOOPERMAN
A shortfall, Jacob. The end of the month is coming up and I’m going to be almost four thousand dollars in arrears to my creditors if I don’t find the cash fast.
JAKE
Mr. Hooperman, I thought that line of kids’ adventure novels of yours was going gangbusters. What happened to your distribution deal with the department stores and booksellers?
HOOPERMAN
Bankrupt! The distributor’s accountant embezzled everything and fled to Central America. Now I’m left holding the bag for the ten thousand dollars they owe me, which means I can’t meet my obligations to my suppliers, who then won’t print next month’s pulp magazines that I need to ship to recoup my losses. I’m in negotiations now with a new distributor, but they’ll walk away from the table if I default now.
JAKE
Tough break. Have you tried the banks?
HOOPERMAN
Ha! This book deal was supposed to revive my credit rating...
JAKE
The sharks?
HOOPERMAN
Never! Have you any idea of the outrageous interest they charge?
JAKE
Yeah, I’ve heard tell. Sounds like you’re in a jam, Mr. H.
HOOPERMAN
I am, indeed. Put me on a battlefield, with bullets flying and men crying out for leadership, and I am capable and sure of myself. Plant me before a typewriter and I can bash out page after page of ripping prose and tell a story that no red-blooded man or boy can resist. (Sighs.) But put me behind a desk with a ledger book and adding machine, and I can’t seem to find my way without stumbling.
JAKE
Not everybody’s cut out for business. That’s why you got together with me and Harold in the first place. You had the pulp titles and the deal with the distributor, and we had the business know-how. I’d say it’s worked out pretty good for everybody involved.
HOOPERMAN
I suppose so, although I’ve been concerned about the declining profits from the pulps and comics lately.
JAKE
I already explained that to you. We’re making money but we’re just investing more of the profits back into the business. The more titles we get out on the stands, the more we can sell.
HOOPERMAN
Well now, you see, investing some of our profits back into the company is precisely what I’m talking about here. I thought I could borrow from Esteem Comics or Pinnacle Pulps to cover my shortfall over at Boy’s Adventures and...
JAKE
I...I’m sorry, but that just ain’t possible.
HOOPERMAN
Why not? It makes perfect sense. Besides, Boy’s Adventures would be able to repay Esteem before the end of the quarter.
JAKE
Yeah, but Boy’s Adventures and Esteem Comics aren’t related. The two companies got nothing to do with each other.
HOOPERMAN
But...I own Boy’s Adventures, and I’m a partner in Esteem And Pinnacle...
JAKE
But me and Harold don’t also own part of Boy’s Adventures. That was all yours, without us. When you brought us in as investors in Esteem and Pinnacle to pay those debts, you kept Boy’s Adventures as a separate business entity.
HOOPERMAN
Well, yes, but surely there’s a way to...
JAKE
This business set-up... it’s complicated. For tax purposes, you understand. I’ve explained it to you before, right? In order to maximize profits and minimize taxes, we make each magazine its own separate little publishing company, see? Separate but wholly owned subsidiaries of the parent corporation, Magazine Periodicals Management. That’s me and Harold. Anyway, that’s all to get the optimum write-off on all debts and exposures, and it also allows us to funnel the pre-tax gross into a post-tax net, but only as long as we channel the gross-net through a five-oh-two corporation and designate all resulting funds as non-taxable income.
HOOPERMAN
Uh...yes, I...I get the, uhm...gist of what you’re saying, but--
JAKE
Okay, then you know if we re-designate the non-taxable income as interest bearing funding to lend you the money for an outside entity like Boy’s Adventures, the resultant IRS interest and penalties will completely wipe out our gains and place us in negative equity. And you know what comes next if that happens!
HOOPERMAN
Frankly, Jacob, I don’t have a blessed clue what any of it means! All I know is, I’m in trouble and I need my partners to have my back.
JAKE
But we do! We do!
HOOPERMAN
Then...you can help me?
JAKE
What I mean is, we are your partners and we do have your back. As long as it involves Esteem and/or Pinnacle. Boy’s Adventures, that’s your business, bubbalah.
HOOPERMAN
Jacob...!
JAKE
What do you want from me? If you’d let us in on Boy’s Adventures, it’d be a different story. We’d be obligated to help, but four thousand’s a lotta dough to be lending to a publishing concern that ain’t even got a distribution deal. What’ve you got to put up to secure such a loan?
HOOPERMAN
Blast it, Jacob, you know everything I have is tied up in Boy’s Adventure and my stakes in Esteem and Pinnacle.
JAKE
Even without looking at the books, I’m gonna guess that right now Boy’s Adventures is worth about minus ten thousand dollars...
HOOPERMAN
My inventory is worth more than that. The company’s down but it’s not out. It’s a solid, saleable line of books... I proved it with the numbers on the first editions. If that no-good rat hadn’t absconded with all my money...!
JAKE
Sure, and if my brother wore a dress, he’d be my sister, but listen, that’s not the case. So even if you signed us over, say, fifty-one percent of Boy’s Adventure as collateral, you’d still be short by a long shot.
HOOPERMAN
Sign it over?
JAKE
Oh, sure. The only way this would work, tax-wise, you understand, would be if we were all partners in the firm. Otherwise, we fall under Statute 12-97 of the tax code and if that happens, brother, are our gooses cooked. Financially speaking, that is.
HOOPERMAN
Statute 12-97?
JAKE
You familiar with it?
HOOPERMAN
No.
JAKE
Then I won’t bore you with the exact language, but lemme tell you, it’s a honey. Not that it matters, because, like I say, Boy’s Adventures alone ain’t gonna cut it.
HOOPERMAN
Then all I have left are my shares in the comic books and pulp magazines...
JAKE
Say, that’s right, isn’t it?
HOOPERMAN
I would hate to relinquish those interests...
JAKE
You don’t have to. With the fifty-one percent interest in Boy’s Adventures, we can hold your Esteem and Pinnacle shares in escrow as collateral until the company’s paid back, then they’re all yours again.
HOOPERMAN
And if I default?
JAKE
Why even think about such a thing? You said it yourself... the books are already a hit you just need the dough to keep cranking them out. Believe me, six months from now we’ll all be looking back at today and laughing about this... from the deck of your yacht, paid for by Boy’s Adventures royalties.
HOOPERMAN [smiling weakly]
From your mouth to god’s ear, Jacob.
JAKE [glancing nervously at the ceiling, mutters]
Oy, I hope not!
(to HOOPERMAN)
So--if you need a few days to think it over...?
HOOPERMAN
I don’t have a few days, Jacob. Very well. It’s a deal. Fifty-one percent ownership of Boy’s Adventure and my shares in the comics and pulps as collateral for a loan of four thousand dollars.
JAKE smiles and they shake hands.
JAKE
Don’t be so glum. You’re making the right decision.
HOOPERMAN
It’s the only decision.
JAKE [shrugs]
So, then what’s the difference? The bottom line is, your worries will be over.
HOOPERMAN
Why doesn’t it feel that way...?
JAKE
Nobody’s twisting your arm here.
HOOPERMAN [in resignation, rising]
No, no, I know. I appreciate your help, Jacob. It’s just so frustrating...
JAKE comes over and puts a sympathetic arm around HOOPERMAN’S shoulders and starts to guide him to the door.
JACOB
Sure, sure, I get it. Nobody likes taking a hit like this, but you’re lucky you got people like us to throw you a lifesaver, you know? Anyway, just gimme a few hours to draw up the papers and write the check and you’ll be smiling again by end of business today.
At the door, HOOPERMAN turns and shakes JAKE’S hand, forcing himself to smile.
HOOPERMAN
Of course. Thank you, again. I... I don’t know what I’d do without your business council.
JACOB
Let’s hope you never got to find out. So, good to see you again, Mr. H. I’ll messenger everything over to you as soon as it’s ready.
The HOOPERMAN nods, smiles, and exits.
JAKE turns, breaking out into a great big grin, starting to whistle. He goes to the coffee pot to pour himself a mug, chuckling to himself as he does.
JAKE [raising mug in a toast]
Easier than taking candy from a baby.
JAKE laughs and treats himself to a big gulp... which he promptly sprays out in a disgusted spit-take.
JAKE
Christ! I think she really does pee in the coffee!
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. MITZI’S LUNCH COUNTER. DAY.
MITZI’S DINER. EVENING. MITZI is behind the counter, leaning on it as he reads a newspaper. Sitting at the counter, bent over his meal, is SNYDER, a 50ish man in a suit and bowler hat. HAROLD, hat on head, is pacing anxiously up and down the diner, checking his pocket watch. He has a large envelope folded and stuffed in his jacket pocket. MITZI occasionally glances at him. After a few moments of HAROLD pacing, MITZI reaches behind him for the coffee pot.
MITZI
Cuppa joe, Mr. Diniwitz? It’ll calm your nerves.
HAROLD
You think I’m nervous? Did I say I was nervous? I’m not nervous.
MITZI
Have a cup anyway. Otherwise I’m gonna have to charge you rent for use of the stool.
HAROLD
Fine. A cup of coffee. And a Danish. What’ve you got that’s good?
MITZI
The goulash.
HAROLD
I was thinking of something more in the line of a pastry.
MITZI
You should have something more filling. I got liver and onions, kidney pie, chicken legs...
HAROLD
Did I ask for your medical history? Just gimme a prune Danish.
MITZI
Prune it is!
MITZI turns to pour the coffee and get the pastry. HAROLD takes a stool, sighing and pushing back his hat. HAROLD checks his watch again.
MITZI
Gotta be somewhere?
HAROLD
I’m waiting for somebody, if it’s any of your business.
MITZI
It ain’t.
SNYDER
He’s right, you know.
HAROLD and MITZI both turn to look at SNYDER, who’s still bent over his food.
HAROLD / MITZI [together]
Beg your pardon?
SNYDER
About the goulash. It’s superb.
MITZI
Hey, nice of you to say, friend!
HAROLD
I’ll stick with the Danish, thanks.
(Checks his watch again.)
I’m early anyway. That’s me. Always early.
(Putting cream and sugar in his coffee.)
Then the other guy’s always late, leaving me having to wait, which just makes me—!
(Stops abruptly.)
MITZI
Nervous?
HAROLD [nervously]
I’m not nervous, dammit!
The front door opens with the sound of a tinkling bell. HAROLD almost knocks over his coffee swiveling anxiously on his stool to look. ENTER DONALD GREENE, the Waspy 40ish editor for the Fine Arts newspaper syndicate. He looks from SNYDER to HAROLD.
GREENE
Mr. Dinowitz...?
HAROLD [jumping up]
I’m Dinowitz. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Greene.
(HAROLD rushes over to shake hands and escort GREENE to the counter.)
Come, have a seat. Would you like a cup of coffee? Mitzi, get the gentleman a cup of coffee. Would you like something with that, Mr. Greene?
SNYDER
I recommend the goulash!
HAROLD [glaring at SNYDER]
Thank you, Walter Winchell!
(Turns back to GREENE.)
Excuse me, but as I explained, we’re, uhm, currently having the offices repainted. So...anything, Mr. Greene?
GREENE
Just coffee, thank you, Mr. Dinowitz.
HAROLD
Another cup for Mr. Greene, Mitzi.
(Turns back to GREENE, smiling.)
So, like I told you on the telephone, Esteem Comics is about to launch a new comic magazine starring the next great action-adventure superman!
GREENE
I won’t lie to you, sir, ever since the McClure Syndicate’s success with the Superman newspaper strip, every other syndicate in town’s been hoping to find a Superman of their own. My own Fine Arts syndicate included.
HAROLD
Look no further. We got just what you’re looking for.
GREENE
Well, we’ll see.
HAROLD [taking a large folded envelope from pocket]
Sure, sure. Talk is cheap. You want to see the goods.
GREENE
Is that it?
HAROLD
Yes, it is. In this envelope is the answer to Fine Arts’ Superman worries.
Opens envelope, sliding out reduced Photostat copies of the Sam Strong story.
Mr. Greene, may I introduce you to...
(Presents the pages to GREENE.)
Sam Strong!
GREENE
Sam Strong?
(Accepts the pages.)
Sam Strong. Sam. Strong. Samstrong!
(Looks at the first page with an interested nod.)
Good name. Solid! All-American! Dependable! Catchy! Nice and...
SNYDER
Strong?
GREENE
Yes!
HAROLD
If you like the name, you’re gonna love the story!
GREENE
I’ll be the judge of that.
GREENE turns to lay the pages on the counter and starts to read the story. HAROLD watches nervously. Sipping his coffee. Picking crumbs off the Danish and nibbling them. Gets up. Paces. GREENE turns pages, reading and, every now and then reacting, with a chuckle or a sound of approval, and HAROLD reacts to every reaction, looking hopefully over at him, using every bit of restraint to keep from saying anything. MITZI and SNYDER have also started watching HAROLD as he’s watching GREENE, following his every reaction with reactions of their own. GREENE finally flips over the last page. He looks up at HAROLD in surprise.
GREENE
This is only the first ten pages. Where’s the rest of the story?
HAROLD [patting breast pocket]
I got it right here.
GREENE
Well don’t keep me in suspense, man! How does it end?
HAROLD
So, you like?
GREENE
Obviously, I do, Mr. Dinowitz. You must have seen the same thing in it that I do.
HAROLD
Me? Oh, yeah, sure. The second I saw it in the, whattaya call it, the slush pile, I knew I had a winner.
GREENE [examining first page]
The credits are blacked out. Who’s the creator?
HAROLD
As far as you’re concerned, Esteem Comics is the legal author of this work of fiction.
GREENE [chuckles]
That’s one thing you comic book guys did right from the start. Work made for hire.
HAROLD
Sure. A rubber stamp on the back of their paycheck that says by endorsing and cashing it, they agree that Esteem’s buying all rights, including the copyright. It’s almost hard to believe it’s legal.
GREENE
There’s too much money in the strips for us to get away with that. The artists all got lawyers and accountants and a big slice of the pie.
HAROLD
This pie’s all mine.
MITZI [perking up]
You want pie? I got apple. I got peach. I got lemon meringue. I got strawberry rhubarb...
HAROLD
No pie!
SNYDER
Is the lemon meringue fresh?
MITZI
You’ll wanna smack its face.
HAROLD
As I was saying... Esteem Comics, that’s me and my brother Jake, we own it outright or we don’t publish it. We’ll take care of the writers and artists out of our end.
GREENE
Yes, I’m sure you will. What are their names? I’ve got to take this back to my boss and talk it over with him and he’s going to ask their names.
HAROLD
They’re brand new to the business and all you gotta know about them is on those pages.
GREENE
You don’t think I’d go behind your back and try to hire them out from under you, do you, Mr. Dinowitz?
HAROLD
Not for nothing, Mr. Greene, but it’s what I’d do. We sign a deal I’ll make formal introductions. You can even take them out to dinner and a movie for all I care. But until we got a contract, I’m gonna keep what’s mine, mine.
GREENE
Of course. But right now, I’ve got to tell you that what’s yours isn’t worth a whole lot. It’s an unknown, untested property by artists no one’s ever heard of that hasn’t even been published yet. I know these super-people are popular, but comic magazine publishers are a dime a dozen and most of what they produce is, if you’ll pardon my French, crap. And if you’ll also pardon me for being blunt, Esteem Comics isn’t exactly known in the business for its creative standards.
HAROLD
Since we’re being blunt, Mr. Newspaper Syndicate, it’s not like Fine Arts has got Hedda Hopper or Walter Winchell banging down its doors to handle them.
GREENE
So why did you choose us?
HAROLD
Because, like you say, the big syndicates don’t need us, and the quality outfits don’t want us. Besides, I figure you guys are hungry enough that you’ll sell the hell out of Sam Strong.
GREENE
If it sells.
HAROLD
Just wait. I may not know from shinola when it comes to comics, but even I can see this thing’s got legs. Besides, I got this kid in the office who lives and breathes this garbage and he was willing to lose his job to get it into print.
GREENE looks back down at the pages. Shuffles through them, thoughtful. HAROLD waits, watching GREENE carefully.
GREENE
Okay. Look, no promises, but... when does the Sam Strong comic magazine hit the racks?
HAROLD
It’ll be on newsstands in the tri-state area in a month. It’ll take about three weeks more to reach the West Coast.
GREENE
And sales numbers?
HAROLD
Final numbers take six months, but the newsstand scouts in the larger markets will have preliminaries in a week.
GREENE
You showed this to anyone else?
HAROLD
Not yet. But I’m in kind of a hurry to close a deal...
GREENE
Yeah, yeah, I get it. How about we leave it with a handshake, give me a chance to let my boss take a gander at it.
HAROLD [Shaking GREENE’S hand]
Truth is, Mr. Greene, I need an answer fast.
GREENE
How fast?
HAROLD
Tomorrow morning fast.
GREENE
Come on, Dinowitz...!
HAROLD
I got a hot property and a need for some quick cash. Oh, yeah. I’m also gonna need a $5,000 advance.
GREENE
You’re killing me here.
HAROLD
Better you than me.
GREENE
All right. Tomorrow morning. Let me see what I can do.
HAROLD
A pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Greene.
GREENE
That remains to be seen. I’ll call you tomorrow.
GREENE EXITS. HAROLD waits until the door closes behind GREENE before letting out a loud sigh of relief and slumping on the stool.
HAROLD
Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!
MITZI
I wouldn’t be surprised.
HAROLD turns back to counter and happily picks up his Danish.
HAROLD
Ho-ho! I didn’t expect it was gonna be that easy.
(picks up and starts to eat his Danish)
I must be a better salesman than I thought.
SNYDER
Mazel tov.
HAROLD
Yeah, thanks. It ain’t a done deal yet, but did you see the look in his eyes? That mamza knows a winner when he sees one.
SNYDER
So, sounds like you’re about to come into some gelt, huh?
HAROLD
Not that it should concern you, but I would be surprised if this wasn’t the start of a beautiful contract.
SNYDER
I’m very happy for you, Mr. Dinowitz.
HAROLD
That’s kind of you to... hey!
(Looks at SNYDER, studying the other man’s face.)
Do I know you?
SNYDER
We’ve never met. My name’s Snyder. I’m an associate of Moishe’s.
HAROLD
Oh. Moishe. I, uhm, suppose this is about...
SNYDER
Monies past due, yeah.
HAROLD
Yes, well...
HAROLD looks at MITZI, alarmed. He gathers up his coffee and plate with the Danish and slides down the counter to take the stool next to SNYDER. MITZI pretends he’s reading the newspaper and not listening, but he’s not pretending very hard.
HAROLD
Like I told Moishe, Mr. Snyder, and as you just saw for yourself, I’m expecting a substantial lump sum soon... the advance from the Fine Arts Syndicate, and as soon as that comes in, I’m be able to pay the two grand with no problem.
SNYDER
Two grand, plus the vig.
HAROLD
Sure, the vig. That goes without saying, Mr. Snyder!
SNYDER
In my line of work, I find it’s best that nothing goes without saying. I like to lay all my cards out on the table so we’re all playing the same game, you understand?
HAROLD
Sure, sure.
SNYDER
So, when can I expect payment, either the two gees plus interest in total, or the weekly vig? Five hunnert per, until we’re paid in full.
HAROLD
Ahem. As I tried explaining to Moishe, I’m just gonna need a few days to...
SNYDER
Maybe I oughta explain how my organization works, Mr. Dinowitz.
HAROLD
Yes, of course, I’d be interested to...
SNYDER
See, Moishe’s part of what I like to call our sales force, one of the guys who deals with our customers. Like you, Mr. Dinowitz. But Moishe’s only got so much authority, if you know what I mean. He can only take bets up to a certain amount without an okay from his supervisor.
HAROLD
Which would, I take it, Mr. Snyder, be you?
SNYDER
Correct, Mr. Dinowitz. And since Moishe assured me you were a valued repeat customer, I approved your bet for two gees, even though you’d never laid down more than half a C-note before.
HAROLD
Look, you don’t gotta worry, Mr. Snyder. I’m good for the dough. I just need a few days to round it up and...
SNYDER
Forget the cash. I got a better idea.
HAROLD
You do?
SNYDER
That malarkey you were pitching that guy... any of it on the level?
HAROLD
About the comic magazine? Yeah, I think so... I mean, your guess is as good as mine, but I got people telling me this Sam Strong could be a big seller.
SNYDER
Swell. Then consider the two grand plus you owe us the buy-in.
HAROLD
Buy-in?
SNYDER
Uh-huh. To your comic magazine. I want a piece of this Sam Strong action.
HAROLD
You mean... like as a partner?
SNYDER
Now you’re getting it. Look, I’m not going to be greedy. I’ll settle for... twenty percent.
HAROLD
That’s impossible! I’ve already got a partner. My brother. And there’s no way in hell he’s ever gonna go along with having you or anyone else come into the company.
SNYDER
You’re just going to have to convince him.
HAROLD
You don’t know Jake! I once tried getting him to change office supply stores and he threatened to disown me. Please, I’ll have the money in a couple of days. I’ll pay you double the vig even, but don’t ask me to do this, Mr. Snyder.
SNYDER
I’m not asking, Mr. Dinowitz.
SYNDER gets off the stool, reaches into his pocket and pulls out some change that he throws on the counter next to his plate.
SNYDER
I’m telling. You’ll have the papers for me to sign by Monday?
HAROLD
I...I...
SNYDER
Fine. I’ll meet you here at eleven a.m. sharp.
HAROLD looks helplessly at the other man. SNYDER smiles, EXITS. HAROLD sits dumbly staring at the closing door.
HAROLD
Oh my god.
MITZI looks up from the newspaper he’s been pretending to read.
MITZI
More coffee, Mr. D?
HAROLD
What? Oh, yeah, sure. More coffee. With a side order of arsenic...
MITZI
Problems?
HAROLD
Problems? No, what problems? I just gotta go back to the office and tell my brother that I invited a viper into our bosom...
MITZI [clearing SNYDER’S dishes]
I think you’re being too harsh on the guy, Mr. D.
HAROLD
How the hell do you know?
MITZI
How bad a guy can he be? He left a buck and a quarter on the sixty-five-cent blue plate special.
With a moan, HAROLD spins off his seat and heads for the door, EXITS.
FADE OUT
To be continued...
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